Friday, April 24, 2009

Cue the Violins

15 mins. core
20 mins. (2.5 miles)
40 mins. ellip.. (incl. 10x2 mins. on, 1 min. off)

So today I threw myself a pity party. It was quite pathetic, actually. Basically my frustration about not being able to train, about not running Penn, about probably being bumped off the list for Nationals all came to a head. I was midway through my core workout this morning when I just stopped and started crying. I mean, core work, really? What's the freaking point?? I'm barely even running.

I'm pretty sure part of it has to do with Tanya running so well at Penn last night (she ran 35:36 to earn an auto time for Nationals). Now don't get me wrong, Tanya and I are close friends and I was absolutely thrilled to see her run so well. But part of me was thinking, "Really? She's only been back to running for three weeks and goes out and busts a better time than I ran at Stanford when I was in the best shape of my entire life? Why am I even doing this?" Of course the other part of it is that I was supposed to be there, in 35:30 shape, running the exact same race that she ran. That was the plan, and I don't like it when things don't go according to plan.

Unfortunately I don't have a nice and neat way to end this little story, no newfound insights or inspirational thoughts that lifted me out of my funk. I guess sometimes you just have to allow yourself to be upset for however long it takes until you feel better, knowing that tomorrow is a new day. That, or you could drink heavily. I'm open to either option.


Jilane said...

Can you post about your 8 miles of glory now so that there's a more recent blog post than this? Thanks much.